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Archive
Human Events August 18th, 2009 Part of the Health Care Revolt
is simply people’s revulsion at Washington’s obsession with the Grand Plan -- the bundled, comprehensive, and
simultaneous reform of the entire universe that seems to appeal so deeply to the self-aggrandizing megalomaniac type that
usually runs for office.
Energy Tribune August 12th, 2009 Today I am proud to announce
that my toaster gets over 230 miles per gallon (in the city). In fact, it gets well over that, having used absolutely no gas
in several years of daily toasting of untold breads and pastries. Also, my computer gets shockingly good gas mileage, and
my shoes, and my tomato plants. Even my dog gets incredible gas mileage, and she’s been dead for five years. What?
All these “facts” are absolutely nonsensical and irrelevant, because those things don’t run off of gasoline
in the first place? Well, yeah, but then neither does the Chevy Volt in city driving.
Human Events August 11th, 2009 The Brave
New World of Obama's Huxleyian Cash for Clunkers Program: supporting the economy with incentivized vandalism.
Human Events July 30th, 2009 Cambridge
-- Central Square’s normally peaceful, if vibrant, restaurant community was thrown into conflict this week after the
Wow Say Tongue! Chinese restaurant, the city’s largest, announced plans to expand by annexing The Jolly Lama, a smaller
Tibetan themed restaurant located next door.
Energy Tribune June 29th, 2009 If you believe the
Obamabot propaganda machine, now that he is president, the days of big profit by Big Oil are numbered. There’s just
one problem: while Obama’s policies may devastate the wider economy, they could leave Big Oil, that well-worn faceless
bogeyman for leftist gobbledygook the world over, sitting pretty.
Human Events June 17th, 2009 Ah, the circle of
life… every day the sun the rises, every spring the buds blossom, and every few years Rep. Patrick Kennedy reenters
rehab. Truly, to everything there is a season -- and in this case Rhode Island’s true Representative, Patrick “Patches”
Kennedy (as in nicotine, percocet, and methadone patches), managed to make it three whole years (and two re-elections) between
trips to rich-kid rehab centers.
 Energy Tribune May 22nd, 2009 Barack Obama’s
energy policy promises us miracle after miracle. The primary miracle is thermodynamic -- as wind, solar, and especially biofuels
-- are promised to provide us with more energy than can possibly be harvested from them, even by the most simple arithmetic.
The second miracle is economic. Obama promises us that his transformation by fiat of our fundamental energy economy will not
only cost us nothing in the long term, but will actually make us gobs of money in the form of so-called “green jobs.”
Human Events May 5th, 2009 Thankfully, it is
turning out that the Swine Flu is not nearly so deadly as first feared, which is a good thing for those worried mostly that
the virus might kill untold gobs of people. However, the virus is still running wild in the area of political correctness,
as millions risk being offended by the deadly pathogen.
Human Events April 22nd, 2009 The real purpose
of the modern Greenie Movement is to provide a seemingly reasonable and unified excuse to persecute all the things that liberals
already hate. This is unfortunate, because while the Environmental Patients are flopping around having philosophical
conniption fits and temper tantrums over fox hunting, hamburgers and urban sprawl, there are actual environmental problems
in the world that are not being solved because they run counter to the Greenie agenda.
Energy Tribune April 15th, 2009 The greatest threat
to any perfect dream is to have it become reality. That’s because when pie-in-the-sky comes down to Earth it usually
doesn’t taste nearly as good as the dreamers thought. And in the case of alternative energy, many dreams have turned
out to be about as tasty as cowpie in the sky.
Human Events April 1st, 2009 Bethesda,
Md. -- Doctors were said to be treating President Barack Obama at Bethesda Naval Hospital today for exhaustion and
possible vocal cord injuries after a freak television accident occurred at the White House Tuesday evening. A Special
April 1 Report...
Human Events March 13th, 2009 If Obama wants
to help the poor, why is he curtailing the deductibility of charitable donations? It’s all about who gets the
credit for giving away your money.
Energy Tribune March 11th, 2009 According
to Barack Obama, our current economic downturn is a time for shared sacrifice. This sacrifice does not, however, seem
to include Barack Obama or his preconceived ambitions. In his first 100 days in office,
Obama will commit to borrow more money than every President before him combined. There are, apparently, very few “worthy
priorities” for which Obama cannot find dollars – be they taxed, borrowed or newly printed. And it is not just
the scale of the budget that is striking, but its composition. In one of the most remarkable coincidences in all of human
history, it turns out that the solution for our current financial crisis is – to do everything that Obama wanted to
do before the crisis even existed.
Human Events March 4th, 2009 Drugs will
be cheaper in the short term under Obama’s reimportation scheme, but the long term effects are devastating...
Human Events February 19th, 2009 Manage
your finances just the government, using The Barack Obama Consumer Credit Counseling Hotline.
Human Events February 11th, 2009 If you
borrow $1 trillion dollars from the economy, and then put it back in as spending, you haven’t added anything...
Energy Tribune February 9th, 2009 According
to the economic theory currently being pedaled in Barack Obama’s Washington, spending huge gobs of money stimulates
the economy. Funny, wouldn’t that mean that $4 gasoline should’ve been a stimulus?
Human Events February 5th, 2009 A new class
of media soothsayer has arisen to issue explanations for every stock market move up or down, all of which fall into two molds:
- The market rose a billion points this morning because people were just so happy/confident/reassured that Obama would
be elected/get his Treasury Secretary/ pass his Spendulus Bill.
- The market declined a zillion points this afternoon
as people became worried/panicked/desperate that Obama might not be elected fast enough/ get his Treasury Secretary/ win his
Spendulus Bill.
Townhall.com February 4th, 2009 One of the
unintended consequences of tying the known universe together under the banner of globalization may be that we have synchronized
the world economy not only in good times, but also in bad. And when we all fall down at the same time, no one is left
standing to help.
Human Events January 20th, 2009 By the time
you read this, we will be well into the second month of historic celebrations of the historic election of our historic new
leader President Barack Lincoln Kennedy Emmanuel (Hussein) Obama. I hate to be a contrarian during the coronation of
our Great Leader, but the sum of the facts compels the conclusion that we are today entering one of the most dangerous periods
in our nation’s history.
Either Tim Geithner should not be confirmed, or the IRS should be abolished.
But it would be morally inconsistent to keep both in the same government.
I hereby offer my full endorsement to Caroline “You Know”
Kennedy to be selected as the next Senator from New York. This may surprise my regular readers (thanks to both of you, by
the way) as I tend to lean a bit right of center. Also, more than a few people have pointed out that she is absolutely without
qualification, ability, experience or appeal. But on the plus side, she’s a Kennedy, and what’s not to like about
that! (Other than the booze, manslaughter, heroin, opposition to windmills, collaboration with Hugo Chavez, DUI, open borders
fanaticism, taxing, spending, and the unearned wealth, privilege, and sense of entitlement, I mean.)
Energy Tribune
January 5th, 2009 People complain constantly about
energy. It turns out however, that people will complain even more loudly about a lack of energy, as I found out last month
during a record ice storm here in New Hampshire.
Rather than taxing soda, NY Gov. Paterson should just tax fat people
-- by the pound and in person. After all, studies show that it is fat people that are driving the obesity epidemic.
Several top names in Obama's campaign -- Axelrod, Emanuel, and
Rezko -- have ties to 'Hot' Rod Blagojevich.
President Bush this week re-enacted a long-standing White House tradition
when he issued a symbolic pardon of a Thanksgiving turkey in a Rose Garden ceremony. What began as a simple and corny photo
op for local papers left the White House press corps and onlookers alike stunned, however, when President Bush followed the
pardon by granting the turkey over $25 billion in TARP bailout funds.
Energy Tribune November 20th, 2008 One of
the hallmarks of a primitive economy is that its exports consist mostly of natural resources. Under-developed nations export
their metals, timber, minerals and such because they are too economically incompetent to make much use of these valuable resources
themselves. Instead, they trade them to more advanced economies in exchange they get cash which they used to buy finished
goods or high-technology products that they cannot make themselves.
Energy Tribune November 12th, 2008 You can
say a lot bad things about Big Oil, but you can’t say it needs a bailout.
Well, the election is over, and the creepy cult-of-personality liberal
candidate won. If this makes you angry or worried for America’s future, then it is important to analyze why this
occurred so that we can prevent the creepy, glowering leader with his own youth movement and grand ideas about reshaping the
world from getting his kook agenda implemented.
A recent poll of active duty and retired military personnel showed that
their choice for President is clear and decisive. Overwhelmingly, they want to be commanded by John McCain. In
the military.com survey of 4300 respondents, John McCain was preferred over Barack Obama by 68 to 23 percent -- an incredible
3-to-1 margin.
Illegal immigration (and how to deal with it) has been among the most
important political issues of this election year. In a remarkable oversight, however, Barack Obama has somehow forgotten
to mention one small fact regarding the issue: his own aunt is an illegal alien.
As we all know, global warming is a seriously real, really serious
problem. I know it’s serious because it matters to celebrities, and they’re famous! Famous people know more than
regular people and they are always a good source of advice on scientific and political issues. It’s not like they all
got famous just for being attractive or obnoxious. In fact, almost everything I know about fighting global warming I’ve
learned from celebrities. Here, I summarize this wisdom, with a few improvements of my own.
Barack Obama makes two broad claims (lacking specifics) on taxes: one
is that he will collect more in taxes, and the other is that he will not raise taxes on you.
According to Obama, he can do this by focusing huge tax increases on only 5 percent of the population. To believe that
these tax increases will not affect you (assuming you are in the 95 percent that Obama claims to be “spreading the wealth”
to), you have to believe that the 5 percent to be taxed will just decide to be poor, to lose money, and not to pass the extra
cost of Obama’s new taxes on to you.
Today the Bush administration announced a bold plan to combine the War
on Terror with the Wall Street Bailout by merging General Motors with the Central Intelligence Agency. The new entity, The
Motors and Intelligence Agency, or MIA, will employ approximately 1,000,000 people in a joint effort to combat both Global
Jihad and Warming.
Remember: no matter how bad things are, they could be worse. That’s
the power of negative thinking. It’s strangely comforting at times. Relax people. This too will pass --
and then something else bad will happen. Worry about that, you can still safeguard against it.
The biggest problem in energy supplies today is that politicians think
it is a problem with a solution. And by that I mean they seem to think it has exactly one solution.
“Wall Street Plummets on Bailout Failure” -- or so read dozens
of headlines Monday, as if trillion dollar government schemes are the normal course of events and their sudden and unexpected
“failure” can shock an otherwise healthy market into collapse.
The now deflated Housing Bubble had many causes. These include
promiscuous lending practices, low interest rates, federal policy aimed at turning human credit hazards into homeowners, the
baby boomers entering their prime earning years, and HGTV. The bursting of the bubble also had multiple causes, many
of which have been well covered in the media. But in my opinion, one contributing factor has not been covered at all...
There is no recession on Earth that can do as much damage to our nation’s
fundamental economic structure as this proposed bailout. A recession usually lasts only a year or two. But history
shows us that he expansion of federal power lasts forever.
Human Events
September 17th, 2008 McCain should leverage his advantage before the Obama campaign and
its marketing departments (CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, NPR, the NY Times etc.) can regain their lost footing and work on falsely
deconstructing Palin so as to restore order to their universe. McCain can do this by promising that Palin is just the first
of an army of fresh, energetic party outsiders that he will appoint, if sent to Washington.
The nanny state philosophy of limiting the freedom of the whole population
to protect it from the excessive stupidity of a few imbeciles seeks to create a “Nerf World” in which we’re
all denied sharp objects and solid food so that the world is safe for free range dullards.
Hope. It’s allegedly Barack Obama’s strong suite: the
magic mantra that has propelled the unknown and inexperienced first-term senator into the universal spotlight he enjoys today.
But it was nowhere to be found in Thursday night’s dour acceptance speech.
Well,
the Olympics are here again, and I’ll bet you’re thinking the same things I am. But just in case you aren't,
I’ve decided to put my thoughts into this handy article format for you. (This is known as a “color” piece,
or, as I like to call it, “being paid to watch TV.”)
You
can make a lot of claims about A.N.W.R., but you have to be ignorant or dishonest to claim the amount of oil there is insignificant.
Editor’s
note: It was recently revealed that the New York Times, after publishing an editorial from Democratic Presidential
Savior/Candidate Barack Obama on the need for immediate surrender in Iraq, rejected a counterpoint editorial from post-maverick
Senator John McCain, the Republican nominee for President. This apparent double standard has led many to speculate on
the reasons behind the Times rejection of McCain. Happily, Human Events has obtained a copy of the rejection
letter, which is reprinted for the record here...
California
based IndyMac Bank became the second largest bank failure in United States history Friday after a bank run straight out of
“It’s a Wonderful Life” was triggered by publicity-seeking Senator Charles “Chuck” Schumer.
It's not Chuck's fault, though. He suffers from a rare mental illness that has linked his ancestors to many events
in history...
Mac
makes his strongest statement yet in support of Senator McCain.
People
blame oil for costing them a lot of money. But the funny thing is that some also blame oil for making them a lot of money.
The idea that oil is inherently bad, even when good, reaches its zenith in the so-called “curse of oil.”
For
the media, “Talking down” the economy to bolster a Democrat challenger is nothing new. But several factors
could make this year’s talking-down much more consequential than usual.
Good
news, friends! Barack Obama has a plan to generate energy from his own self-contradictions, thus saving us kabillions
of dollars we might otherwise spend on energy or economic growth.
It’s
a rare day when I find myself agreeing with a liberal Democrat from New York, but today that’s exactly what is happening.
I’m just worried that his plan to open the borders to truly deserving immigrants may not go far enough.
There’s
a lot of talk today about the size of one’s so-called “carbon footprint” as a measure of alleged greenness.
Perhaps a better measure might be the size of one’s corn footprint. That’s because our current rush towards ethanol
– that greenest of green fuels – has, in just a few years, reached major geographic proportions.
Senate
Democrats fell just a few votes short this week of repeating one of the great acts stupidity of modern times. In an
apparent homage to Jimmy Carter and the1970s, Democrat leader Harry Reid attempted to shove through a “windfall”
profits tax designed to seize 25% of any American oil company profits that the Democrats see as “excessive,” “obscene,”
or just shiny and ripe for the taking by Big Government.
The
Democratic National Committee Rules and Bylaws Committee met this week to decide whether or not to count the votes of Americans
in Florida and Michigan in this year’s national convention tally. As it turns out, they decided that they would
only count half the votes in these states, apparently because the people there are only half-American. But what’s
even worse than the votes the committee threw away are the votes it just made up and added to the totals.
It’s
the year 2008 and Democrats have their own chance to count votes in a Florida election they control entirely, and what do
you know, suddenly its no longer important to count every vote. Heck it’s not even important to count every million
votes.
If
government really wants to help with the housing "crisis", the strata of administrative oppression that can really
do something is not the federal government, but local towns, cities and counties. They’re the ones that tax property
based on its value, after all.
Communities
east of Los Angeles have seen a spate of “attacks” by coyotes against children playing menacingly in local parks
and yards. Although scientists are said to be puzzled by the attacks, one thing is for sure: the incidents are somehow
man’s fault.
Wanted: Evil MinionsEnergy Tribune May 12th, 2008 The energy
industry is almost universally criticized and hated. And for some reason the number of people wanting to work in it are in
short supply. Let’s examine the image of energy employees around the world...
The Triumphantly Trivial Return of Mac JohnsonHuman Events April 10th, 2008 Where
the heck is Mac? This question is asked dozens of times a day, usually by co-workers at my real job seeking to suggest new
projects for my “spare” time. Also, my wife asks this question, often on a cell phone call or an email as
I am being tossed around like a cat toy by the evil and incompetent airline industry while she selflessly raises our kids. I
think we have three...
Profiles in Energy IndependenceEnergy Tribune April 9th, 2008 Energy
independence must be really, really good. That much I can gather from the fawning media coverage of the idea and its support
from both political parties. Just what it is, exactly (other than really, really good) is a little harder to figure. It seems
to have something to do with being rid of the rest of the world...
Charlton
Heston was simply cool. The source of that cool was his obvious confidence. The guy knew who he was. He was Charlton Heston
-- even when he was Moses or Ben-Hur or a lost astronaut.What he did with that confidence in the later years of his life,
when most of us would be doing good just to check the mailbox regularly, was one of the most amazing things about him.
Not only are there millions of human biofuel factories currently lounging around just waiting to convert
corn into rump, but many will actually pay for the extraction procedure themselves. The average American is 24 pounds heavier
today than in 1960 – and it’s not because we all got big-boned. Since each five pounds of fat has the energy equivalent
of a gallon of ethanol, that means that there are 1.5 billion gallons of ethanol equivalent waddling around America right
now.
An approximate transcript of every Speech Barack Obama has ever given. ...tonight
we join in something greater than ourselves: a confused mixed metaphor of imagery and hyperbole, symbolism and simile. And
with this clichéd rhetorical schizoid montage of optimism and fear, which always looks forward, unless looking back,
we proudly march into the tomorrow of the future, proud of the past that has victimized us all so diversely.
Wednesday, John McCain’s decade-long honeymoon as the favorite Republican of the mainstream media came
to a crashing halt. In a remarkable coincidence, Wednesday marked approximately one week of McCain feeling so assured of the
Republican nomination that he stopped attacking conservatives and began attacking Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.
When you look at the drug trade, no doubt you see violence, wasted lives, lost potential, the source of much
petty and serious crime and an endless source of human tragedy. When Governor Spitzer looks at this same drug trade, all he
sees is a whole lotta money changing hands!
Agricultural biofuels, by any arithmetic, are incapable of replacing much of our current energy supply. Making
these biofuels can, however, consume a significant share of our food supply. All grains, meats, milk, eggs, and a variety
of corn-derived commodities, from high fructose corn syrup to cornstarch, have seen price increases because of the ethanol
rush. Is it enough to affect total inflation?
The casualty count in Iraq has decreased so much that the media has given up claiming that our soldiers will
all be killed if we don’t surrender soon, and is now forced to claim instead that our soldiers will just all kill themselves
if we don’t surrender soon. What's the reality?
Currently, the fastest-growing economies in the developing world, such as India and China, have to compete
directly with the West for energy. But as the West becomes increasingly finicky about energy and denies itself the use of
significant supplies, these supplies will be effectively reserved, at reduced prices, for the developing markets.
Go put the names “McCain,” “Romney, and “Huckabee” on a dart board (maybe make
a smaller section called “Thompson”), have a few beers and toss a dart at it. You’ll have about as
much power to predict as South Carolina. You might get the right answer, but it’ll be pure luck.
The election is still 10 months away and 2008 is only 15 days old, but the campaign for President is already
in its second year. If this were an episode of Star Trek, these facts would probably point to some sort of gap in the
space/time continuum. But this is politics, so nothing that normal and mundane will do.
A well-worn political adage states that when it comes to picking the presidential candidates, Iowa and New
Hampshire decide for the nation. This year, in both parties, Iowa and New Hampshire decided to pass.
While
driving around southern New Hampshire I prayed for some sign as to who will win. Upon opening my eyes and returning
to my side of the road, I was amazed to find many such signs -- yard signs.
In
our hatred for the movement, we can be blinded to the true (if ugly) utility of the tactic -- a tactic we need to understand
well.
Energy is a lot like sex and money – it’s not the most important thing in the world, as long
as you have enough of it.
I
don’t know about you, but I look forward to the day when my meals are chosen primarily around the possible flatulence
of the animal being consumed.
In
World War II, when America went to war, Hollywood went with her. From Frank Capra to Jimmy Stewart to Clark Gable, America’s
movie industry was firmly behind the nation in the war against the Nazis and their allies. That same spirit is alive
today -- Hollywood is still firmly behind America’s 65-year-old war effort against the Nazis. Of course, that
was the last war that Hollywood tried to help win.
The
Environmentalism movement would have you believe that its critics want to kill the planet. It is a unique individual that
wishes to live in a dying toxic world devoid of nature. I have yet to meet any such person -- although the closest I’ve
come are some radical environmentalists themselves, who often choose to live in the sterile, paved downtown areas of overdeveloped
cities, far removed from nature.
A
few short years ago, nobody had ever heard of “Intelligent Design” (ID). Today it is alleged to be one of
the hot button issues of our times, the latest front in the culture wars. The sudden prominence of ID is traceable,
in my opinion, to two factors.
What
if there were an environmental catastrophe and nobody came? Would it tell us anything about the environmental movement that
it can make headline news out of a warm day in April – yet when there is no political gain to be had, it can ignore
the near extinction of three major species? I believe it would.
America’s
trust in the Clintons suffered a horrible blow last week, when it was discovered that Hillary Clinton’s campaign staff
had planted the “spontaneous” questions being asked by audience members at an Iowa campaign event.
"They
were canned,” Muriel Gallo-Chasanoff (a Grinnell College student attending the performance) said of the questions that
Clinton took. In a remarkable coincidence, Clinton’s answers seemed quite polished -- almost prepared, really.
Happy Hill-o-ween! Hillary Fright NightHuman Events, October 31st, 2007Halloween
is that special time of year when we celebrate our ancient and irrational fears --zombies, vampires, werewolves, monsters,
ghosts and the undead. At least that’s what it was before Hollywood turned it into a holiday to glorify murder, gore,
torture, sadism and the other sadly mundane evils of mankind. I greatly prefer the Halloween of my youth -- a nice
combination of a children’s carnival and a good ghost story. But in the spirit of the modern perversion of Halloween,
let’s take a moment to focus on one of the scarier possibilities of human evil -- Hillary Clinton becoming the next
President of the United States just 12 months from now.
On Mexican Drugs, Bush Seeks $500 MillionHuman Events, October 24th, 2007President
Bush this week asked Congress to approve a supplemental spending bill for $42.3 billion. The bill is intended to fund
U.S. military operations in Afghanistan and Iraq. However, in a remarkable expansion of the meaning of the words “U.S.
military”, “Afghanistan” and “Iraq” the bill also includes $724 million to fund U.N. Peacekeeping
operations in Darfur and $500 million for Mexican police to fight Mexican drug dealers.
Karma KreditsEnergy Tribune, October 18th, 2007Money
may not be able to buy happiness, but it can pay sadness to go away. That’s the idea behind the much-hyped concept of
“carbon credits” – which are a sort of climatological karma certificate allowing the bearer to emit gas
without fear of social stigma, even if in a crowded space. But why stop at selling the rights to alleged carbon sin? I'm
now proud to offer Karma Kredits for all your socially frowned upon needs.
If You're Traveling by Air, Urine TroubleHuman Events, October 16th, 2007Now,
those of you that read this column on a regular basis, know that I hate to complain or paint with a broad brush, so let me
choose my words narrowly and carefully when I say that the entire air travel industry in the United States --from the white
lane drop off to the check in, the baggage handling, the security search, the waiting area, the loading procedure, the flight,
the service, the reliability and the baggage claim on the far side-- is totally broken, incompetent, inefficient, overburdened,
and demoralizing. It’s been ruined. Air travel used to be kind of fun and adventuresome. Now it just
sucks… the life right out of you. It’s maddening. I now believe that Senator Larry Craig was probably
normal when he first arrived at the Minneapolis airport; half a day into the travel system, however, he was a freaky madman
crawling under the stalls like a muttering gay Golem (Gaylem?).
The Anti-War Game Plan: I Win or You CheatedHuman Events, October 4th, 2007Anyone
who’s ever played a game with a small child should recognize the Democrat Party’s strategy on politicizing the
War on Terror. When things go poorly for their opponent, they yell “You Lose!” Whereas when things
go well for their opponent, they yell “No Fair! You Cheated!”
Ay, Canada!Immigration
criminals seek "refuge" in the Great White Norte. Human Events, September 27th, 2007
The city of Windsor, Canada, has
informed their federal government that it is near to being “overwhelmed” by a large number of Mexican illegal
aliens flooding across the border seeking refuge and free stuff. Apparently “200” is considered a large
number in Windsor -- because that’s how many have shown up. I only wish America had to deal with such a large
number. Just wait ‘til the first million arrives, Windsor!
Government -- The Opposite of EconomicsEnergy Tribune, September 19th, 2007
Capitalism is a system in which individuals are allowed to make decisions for themselves based on economic self-interest.
Under the opposite system, called “government,” problems are handled much
more efficiently.
Al Qaeda in Iraq -- Now with Locations in Sweden!Human Events, September 18th, 2007
Unsatisfied with being at war only with the United States, Israel, Christianity, Kurdistan, Hinduism, Russia, Buddhism,
Shiites, Judaism, Yazidis, the Iraqi Government, the United Nations, animism, the Saudi Government, Kuwait, atheists, agnostics,
Jordan, and (most probably) Shintoism, this week Al Qaeda in Iraq declared war on Ikea. Yes, the Swedish purveyor of furniture
and other accoutrements for those who have recently exited the dorm room and entered the “starter home” phase
of life. That Ikea.
Osama, Obama, Fred, Oprah, and Chelsea's MamaVarious lunatics try to tap into talk show America
Human Events, September 11th, 2007
Television
is the cool friend you never actually have to make. It’s available freely and doesn’t care how boring you
are. In primitive societies mankind had to talk to whomever was around -- even if this was mere family. But today
we can benefit from a multi-billion dollar entertainment industry designed to find us truly interesting folks to include in
our lives. Neighbors are out. Oprah is in.
America -- Almost Certainly DoomedMy observations on attending the Fox News Republican Debate
Human Events, September 6th, 2007
Tonight
I drove my butt out to Durham, New Hampshire and attended the Fox News "First in The Fall" GOP Presidential Debate.
I did this for you, the reader, who couldn’t be there because it was way the heck out in Durham, New Hampshire.
French Wine Terrorists Threaten Government with Wrath of GrapesHuman Events, August 28th, 2007
France’s
new President has received a chilling video from a previously unknown European terror group -- the “Comité Régional
d’Action Viticole” a.k.a. “CRAV.” What these CRAVen and black-clad insurgents CRAVe goes to the heart
of French culture: they want higher wine prices, or their campaign of small bombings will escalate into something deadly.
Can't We Allah Just Get Along?Human Events, August 21st, 2007In
case you had any doubt that Western Civilization is mired in a crisis of suicidal self-loathing and pre-emptive surrender,
a Catholic Bishop in the Netherlands has publicly commented that Christians should begin to refer to God as “Allah”
so as to make Muslims like us better -- or at least bomb us less.
The First Ever Incredible Earth-Shattering CNN You Boob DebateHuman Events, July 24th, 2007
Well,
it’s 9:14 pm on Monday, July 23rd -just minutes after the unbelievably important and innovative Democrat candidate debate
put on by CNN and You Tube. The debate was hyped for about 64 days in advance because, not only would it be on CNN (distantly
the second biggest name in cable news!), but the questions were submitted via the video site You Tube -- and You Tube is on
the internet, which for the young bucks running CNN is a new idea.
I Can't Hear You - I Have a Chernobyl in My EarEnergy Tribune, July 17th, 2007
No
matter how old and flabby he or she may be, the government thinks your nighttime partner is one “hot” body. That’s
because the natural background radiation emitted by every human body on Earth exceeds the standard set by federal agencies
to qualify as a “regulated source.” Perhaps this radiation is the true “marriage penalty”?
Sen. Vitter Outed As Heterosexual: Heterophobia FearedHuman Events, July 13th, 2007
Washington
was rocked -- ROCKED -- this week when it was revealed that Sen. David Vitter, a Louisiana Republican, is a practicing heterosexual.
The news came as part of a larger bombshell, as Vitter’s name was revealed to be on the client list of the so-called
“D.C. Madam” (who is apparently not Nancy Pelosi, by the way, but a physical prostitute.)
Thursday, June 28 -- The Day Congress Stopped Caring About Border SecurityHuman Events, July 3rd, 2007
We
can assume that June 28th, when amnesty was defeated in the Senate, the border became magically secure -- because apparently
all the danger that demanded “immediate” action when amnesty was on the table can now wait months or even years
-- until Congress can again make amnesty part of an offer you can’t refuse.
Ban Ki Moon -- Super GeniusHuman Events, June 21st, 2007
In
Darfur, radical Muslim militias have taken to slaughtering Christian and Pagan farmers for fun and profit. Since radical Muslims
elsewhere in the world are generally a peaceful lot, Ban Ki Moon has wisely seen that it must be the weather setting them
off. Allah Akbar, it’s hot! Let’s kill the infidels.
Inside The Oval - A ParodyHuman Events, June 14th, 2007
You
Can’t Spell “Manana” without “Amnesty” …and “-ana”. And you’ll need
to take away “-esty” and rearrange “Amn-”. (Yeah, they're pretty closely linked.)
Energy Tribune, June 12th, 2007
“Living
off the grid” could take on a whole new meaning.
Human Events, June 7th, 2007
We
do not have a broken immigration system. We have a broken immigration enforcement system.
Comparative Torture 101Human Events, May 31st, 2007
The
definition of torture seems to have undergone a remarkable and elastic expansion. Let's compare accusations of torture
made against the US to torture techniques recommended by Al Qaeda in a recently captured
manual.
Freak Porn NewsThe American Thinker, May 2nd, 2007
Every member of the press will
assure you that freedom of the press is the most fundamental of all liberties. But what purpose does most of it really
serve?
(You Da Man!)Human Events,
April 20th, 2007Are you an angry anti-American Marxist displaced by the fall of communism and the end of the
cold war?
Cape WindbagsEnergy Tribune,
April 12th, 2007In the quest for a"green" future, no sacrifice is too great for the commoners -- and
any sacrifice is too great for the elite.
Energy Tribune,
March 7th, 2007 The second age of
renewable energy dawns prematurely.
Outsourcing the Arsenal of Democracy?Human Events,
February 28th, 2007When Adam Smith wrote “The Wealth of Nations” in the mid-eighteenth
century, he believed free trade would never exist in a pure form.
Energy Tribune, February 6th, 2007 Above average, below average, or just average, global warming’s a triple threat.
Human Events, February 6th, 2007
It's new population should feel right at home.
Human Events, January 31st, 2007 Biochemistry trumps free will every time.
Human Events, January 18th, 2007 Some thoughts on the mission of motherhood.
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